The “Don’ts” of a Sensual and Sexy Couples’ Massage
A sensual massage can add a lot to your relationship – from the physical touch to emotional connection - but it also has the potential to turn sour very quickly.
Whether you’re new to the practice of sensual massage or you’re a long-time practitioner, it’s easy to get bogged down by some of the “don’ts” of sensual and sexy massage.
Don’t sweat it. Take the time to follow these sensual and sexy massage don’ts before you begin.
These sensual and sexy massage don’ts can help ensure that your partner and you both have a truly pleasurable experience.
If you’re a sensual massage enthusiast, here are some of the most common mistakes that may be holding you back from experiencing the ultimate pleasure.
After learning what not to do while giving a sensual massage, find out the 7 steps for a successful sensual massage, so you can gift your partner the massage he/she has been begging for, and you're going to look sexy as hell while doing it.
So, let’s find out the most common mistakes you should avoid when giving a sensual massage.
Read time: approximately 12 minutes
The “Don’ts” of a Sensual and Sexy Couples’ Massage
Don’t underestimate the ambiance
It's not just a matter of the right techniques and tools. The environment in which the massage occurs plays an important role in its effectiveness.
Ambiance and mood are important factors in any erotic massage experience, particularly with the sensual aspect of the massage being emphasized. This can help keep the focus on the massage and away from extraneous details.
If it helps, you might want to wear a robe or something light, like lingerie, to make it easier for the other person to be more comfortable and relaxed. And of course, knowing that your partner is next to you waring almost nothing, can only increase the experience.
Although, a nice aroma is very nice and adds the mood, don't use strong scents in the room; most people aren't comfortable smelling anything, especially if it's not a natural scent.
So, be prepared – set some music, dim the lights, and think about the aroma. Either use a scented candle, an incense, or an aromatic massage oil, like our Massage Oil “Affection” that has a lightly sweet tropical scent.
Don’t be unprepared
Maybe your partner is allergic to some ingredient? What kind of massage are you planning to do? Do you plan to do only the massage, or it will be followed by a happy ending?
You’ll need to know what types of massage oils and scents your partner prefer, as well as a few tricks to make your massage even more sensual.
For example, if you’re giving a back rub, don’t put too much pressure on the muscles in the area; try massaging the areas around the spine instead.
Also, prepare room, get the massage oil, some sheets, pillows and towels and all other things you will need.
Knowing and preparing for these things beforehand will allow to avoid many awkward moments and will allow for a relaxing and intimate massage.
Don’t ignore your partner's needs
Quite often we assume what our partner wants, and sometimes we assume correct, but other times it is a compete miss that ruins the whole evening.
Does he/she like light touches or he/she prefers a sport massage with strong movements? Are there body parts he/she does not want to be touched, and which parts need the most attention?
Learn these things by either asking straight on, or by starting slow and then listen to their body language.
By knowing what your partner needs the most, instead of thinking about, what you could do wrong, you can concentrate on letting your hands show your love by massaging those beautiful muscles, as well as their skin.
Let your fingers know just how much you love and appreciate your partner in a sensual and loving way.
Don’t use body lotionsA body lotion can be a great addition to a spa, but if you’re doing a sensual massage, don’t use it.
Why not use it? Short answer – they are not intended to be used in a massage.
Although at first glance it might feel they provide the necessary benefits, but body lotions are sticky, and the oils they contain are sticky too.
The oils will stick to the skin, and they also tend to stick to the sheets, blankets, and even the massage table.
Once it’s all over the room, you’ll find yourself having to clean it off everything, which disrupts the flow of the massage and distracts the recipient from their experience. So, use a massage oil instead.
Don’t make your lover feel like you’re in the middle of a missionThis is not a military operation, so it doesn’t need to be so intense. Your partner wants to feel relaxed, so there should be no pressure.
A sensual massage doesn’t have to be intense. You can be gentle and relaxing during your massage. It shouldn’t hurt your partner.
Just enjoy the moment, and you won’t have any regrets later. It’s better to start slow, and you should take your time to explore your partner’s body.
This is part of the pleasure of your massage, and you don’t want to rush it. It's important to listen to your partner's feedback so that you can improve on your skills as a masseuse.
You don't have to do anything right away, and you should be comfortable with your partner.
So, start slowly. Don't force anything, and don't overdo it. Just enjoy the process.
Don’t squirt massage oil onto your partner’s body
You need to apply massage oil gently, and with sensuous strokes. You don’t want to squirt it all over the place. It will make everything drip all over the place and make things messy.
Your job is to create a sensual environment where your partner can relax and enjoy the process. So, use the massage oil as needed. Pour enough oil on your hands, so your hands are covered in oil, but not so much, it starts to drip off.
When you feel like that the oil wears off and the movements are not slippery enough, take some more oil. Your hands must be gentle and soft, and your movements should be slow and seductive.
As a great way to use the right amount of oil without getting messy is to have a massage oil that is equipped with a lotion pump just like the Massage Oil "Affection" is equipped.
Don’t treat your partner like a piece of meat
Whether it's kissing a loved one, having your partner massage you, or having him or her gently stroke your body, all these actions are meant to convey the type of love that you wish to share with them.
Sensual massage is a wonderful way to bring your partner closer to you. But don’t take advantage of that closeness by being overly sexually explicit or demanding (if you are at the receiving end).
Instead, focus on bringing out your partner's personality in a playful way. Be creative.
If you are giving the massage, try to please your partner by trying to hit the right spots. But if you are at the receiving end, express your desires, but in the end let your partner be in control of the massage—it can be a great way to show him/her you appreciate their way of pleasing you.
Sensual massage is all about making the other person feel special. It’s about touching them. In the end, you’ll both feel closer. You’ll be better lovers. And you’ll both want more.
Don’t forget about the sensitive parts
What you can do to help keep your lover’s body feeling great while you massage it is - focus on the more “sensitive” spots. These include the head, neck, back, stomach, and even the inner thighs.
To ensure your partner feels good, massage these areas with a sensual massage oil. You can use your fingertips, a feather-weight brush, or even your mouth to create an orgasmic sensation.
But – remember that most massage oils do not act as a lubricant and can irritate the most sensitive parts, so be sure to massage the genitals only, if you know your massage oil is meant for that. Or, just leave those parts for the “dessert” after the massage.
Don’t use your thumbs too much
This is especially true if you use your thumbs as you give your lover a sensual massage. As a result, it’s best to limit the use of your thumbs in a sensual massage, so you can do it longer without making your hands sore.
But if you wish to use your thumbs, put the top of your loved one’s shoulders, neck, side of the back or other place that should be massaged, and your thumbs should be placed just below the palms, which will allow the most pressure to be applied, and limit the strength necessary.
Don’t expect a massage in return
We don’t think it’s the best idea to give a massage to your significant other just for the sake of receiving one back.
That’s one of those things you should be able to tell at first glance. If you want a massage in return you will rush the massage, and won’t fully commit to it. And trust us – your partner will feel it.
This will create a tension between you – and not the sexy kind of tension, but the frustrating kind one. In result neither of you will enjoy the process, and your partner probably won’t be willing to give a massage back.
What we are suggesting is that you have to treat your partner with the same respect you expect in return. By doing so, your partner will want to treat you back – it might not be a massage, but it will be something that you enjoy.
Don’t ignore your partner's body language
If you want to make sure your partner is comfortable during a massage, don't just pat him or her on the back and think it is enough.
Of course, it is an exaggeration, but we quite often want to do the minimum effort, just to be done with it.
That only will get your partner irritated and neither of you will be happy. You need to be aware of what your partner is telling you by using the body language of your partner.
Your job is to interpret that body language and be aware of the signals coming from your partner's body. What does he or she want? Does he or she wants you to stop, or do they want you to continue to move where you're going?
If you will try your best and try to do the things that your partner likes, you will see that you will also enjoy giving the massage as well.
Sensual massage is a bonding experience, and you want it to be relaxing, sexy and intimate, so the first thing you need to do is to be prepared and find out what is turning your partner on.
It can be anything from setting the atmosphere with music and scented candles, or flowers to make your partner feel loved and cared for. Then, learn which body parts your partner wants and don’t want to be massaged.
If you want to get the most out of sensual massage, take it slow and make sure to be in the right mindset.
The goal of sensual and sexy massage is to make your partner want to feel close to you – physically and emotionally, and to want to feel your touch on his/her body.
After that – let the body talk and enjoy the experience, so your bond can become even stronger.
If you wish to learn more what to do in a sensual massage, read these 7 steps for a successful sensual massage here.
As always, feel free to read other relationship tips and look around our store to find some thoughtful and sexy gifts for couples.
- 10 Benefits of a Couples Massage
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