The Sensual Massage: 7 Steps to a successful massage for couples

Would you think that all you need for a sensual massage is good technique? Yes, hand work is a part of it, but to create a truly intimate and sensual experience you need to prepare, to communicate and to be present in the moment.

A successful massage is a lot like a good date. It starts with setting the right mood, then progresses to making your partner feel comfortable and desired before finally achieving that perfect release of tension in the form of deep relaxation. And just as there are so many different types of dates, there are also endless variations on how to give a massage. In this blog post we will explore 7 steps for giving an amazing massage- from preparing beforehand to finishing off with some aftercare!  

The Sensual Massage: 7 steps for an amazing massage for couples


In order to have an enjoyable time together, it's important that you both take care of yourselves and get into the right mindset before diving in. Remember: happy partners make happy massages! You can read more about these 7 steps and other helpful tips below. If you've ever considered giving your lover a massage but felt uncertain about how to begin, this article will give you the information and tools required for an enjoyable experience.

For many of us, one of the first places we discover our sensuality is through a touch – which basically is a form of a massage. Perhaps someone taught us how wonderful it feels to be touched in this way or perhaps we experimented on our own with a friend or partner… One thing's for sure – if you are considering delving further into sexual adventures with your partner or spouse, learning to give them a sexy massage is the perfect place to start! 

Before reading any further about massage techniques, let us take a moment to define what makes the perfect sexy massage.

The Sensual Massage


The perfect sexy massage is something that both you and your partner can enjoy and will spice up your relationship. It is not designed purely for the benefit of one partner, so it's important that you have a discussion with both of you being in agreement on all steps involved in this activity.  It's not about 'giving’ a sexy massage to your partner, it's about creating a sexy massage together.    

The most important aspect of this activity is communication: before the massage even begins you should be clear on what each other expects and wants from the experience and discuss how far both of you are prepared to go - then only proceed as far as both partners feel comfortable with doing so. 

You and your partner may have previously discussed what techniques you would both like to try or it can be a nice surprise for your partner when they feel the effects of the massage oils on their skin. 

The sensual massage is all about creating arousal by using delicate, sexy movements and touches in areas such as hands, neck, feet and head. It can then lead onto full body massages where you spend time touching each other everywhere apart from the erogenous zones (genitals), until eventually leading onto those parts of the body as well.


Before giving a sexy massage, think about what type of mood you want to create; make sure that there is plenty of time for both of you to enjoy the massage and that there are no distractions. Light incense, use sexy music, dim the lights or light candles.

The most important part of a sexy massage is relaxation. In order to make sure your partner is totally relaxed, start by asking him or her to take a hot bath or shower prior.  This will open up their spirit as well as help them relax their muscles more easily. Also ask them not to drink caffeine or alcohol before the sexy massage so they're not all jittery from it, and enjoy it fully. Have everything ready before your partner enters the room so they don't feel rushed into anything that they don't want to do. 

And of course, be sure not to forget to take a massage oil. Preferably use a high-quality massage oil containing natural ingredients that won’t cause any allergic reactions. See Joyful Couple’s massage oils here.

Massage for Couples: the 7 Steps


The massage environment can make or break the massage. To ensure your sexy oiled-up massage goes exactly how you want it, be sure to take some time at least one day before your sexy couples massage, to set the mood for what comes next! With proper planning and forethought, you will surely set the stage for a sexy good time.

Some sexy ways to help get the mood ready include setting up romantic lighting in your bedroom or bathroom (or wherever you're playing!) Dimming the lights is always sexy; try using scented candles all around or burning incense. Set out towels that are soft and inviting on an ottoman or other furniture where you'll be massaging your partner. Be sure they are big enough so that one may be folded over the other for your partner's head, and that they are fluffy and inviting.

Freshen up the air with sexy aromatic sprays or even sexy perfumes/colognes! Vanilla is always sexy so try using some vanilla scented candles or oils to lightly perfume the room. There are sexy scents like lavender associated with sensual massage so if you want to go all out you might also use an essential oil version of these sexy smells as well.


We have noted this in the previous steps, but just is so important it cannot be stressed enough - massage without a massage oil just won't pleasant.

The best sexy massage is one that makes your partner feel sexy, and oil can go a long way to help you achieve this. Choose an oil that is light and scented with your favourite fragrance as it will not only smell great but also leave your partners skin soft and hydrated. Release the sensual side of yourself as you use the oil to glide over their body. You'll be surprised at how much different massaging feels when there isn't friction from dry hands!

If you intend to continue the massage into something more sexual, it is important to know, that only a handful specialized massage oils can be used also as a lube, so before moving onto intimate parts, either remove the massage oil from all body parts that might touch the intimate zones, or use the specialized massage oil (if in the product description you cannot find that that particular oil can be used as lube, consider, it can not be used as such. Don't take your chances, because it can lead to unpleasant moments). 

The right choice of massage oil can help increase pleasure during the massage, give a smooth glide to your movements, and even protect sensitive skin from irritation or dryness. A sensual massage with an aromatherapy oil will also provide mental and emotional benefits that will contribute to a relaxing and stress relieving session.

Luxury Massage Oil Affection


The best way to relax someone is to be relaxed yourself. If both of you are calm and happy, then there is nothing that can stop you from enjoying this beautiful experience together.  Make sure you communicate with your partner and discuss what they want. 

Do not assume that you know what the other person wants, sensual massage is all about asking questions to get to know each other on a more intimate level! If you are nervous, then it will show through your touch. This isn't spoken language - if someone doesn't like what you are doing or where your hands are going… they will let you know! So take some deep breaths, remind yourself why you are both doing this and make eye contact when possible.


The sensual massage is about starting out slow, includes uncovering their body, and building up to a boil, so remember that your partner might feeling vulnerable during this time. 

This means you need to take extra care in providing them with a smooth transition from start to finish. It also means that you should communicate constantly with them throughout the entire sexy massage. Even if they're silent, ask them frequently if they want to continue or what you should do next. 

If your partner is still dressed, be sure to be the one, who undresses him/her, and you can take your time in this step. Make sure your strokes are smooth and long, using your entire hand. Emphasize the sexy parts by slowly moving up and down your partners’ legs. 

After massaging the thighs, give attention to other places on the body that are normally overlooked during sex.  Run your fingers through their hair or tickle behind the ear... kiss him/her on the shoulder... rub his/her nipples... run your fingernails along the feet.... The goal is to be intimate together without making anything sexual just yet!


If you are not sure, what your partner will enjoy or not, first say what you want to do for them before trying it out on them by asking "Is this ok?" Be gentle with any vulnerable areas such as the back of knees and neck until your partner tells you otherwise. Ask him/her to let you know if it is too much pressure or not enough. Also, you can use your voice to build anticipation and tease your partner. 

Lightly rubbing your hands with oil close to their skin without actually touching them will make them anticipate what's going to happen next, making it sexier and more intimate. The other spectrum to light touches would be to rub your own body with your partner's body.

And do not rush. The massage should take a minimum of 10-15 minutes before you even think about touching the intimate body parts. 

Sensual Massage For Couples: How to


From the head down, start with a scalp massage, work your way down to her shoulders and continue from there. You can use your fingers, knuckles, palms of your hands and even elbows, but only if your partner asks for it! 

This sensual massage is all about exploring each other's bodies in a safe and sexy environment. This process should not be rushed, but rather enjoyed and experienced in its fullest. You will see, with each next time, the massage will become more intimate and sensual.


If you see your partner liking something – do it more. And, of course, if you see the opposite – do it less. If you will see your partner liking something, you also will enjoy giving the massage more. Sensual massage is a two-way pleasure.

As the massage progresses, take notice of her breathing patterns. Does he/she breathe more heavily in certain places? Once you know more about what turns her on through touch, you can incorporate that into your sexy massage routine

When you have built up the tension and your partner is ready for the next step, quickly remove the massage oil from your hands (unless the massage oil is specifically designed to be used as a lube), take the necessary things you already prepared beforehand (lube, condoms, sex toys etc.), and take the evening to new heights of pleasure! It will be a night to remember!

Why the sensual massage for couples is good for you

We hope you enjoyed these 7 steps for giving an amazing massage- from preparing beforehand to finishing off with some aftercare. From creating a mood and setting the right expectations, to making your partner feel comfortable and desired before finally achieving that perfect release of tension in the form of deep relaxation.

If you want more tips on how to give a great massage or if you’re looking for natural, luxurious products like our natural massage oils, make sure to have a look around our website, where we have lots more information about all things related to making your relationship healthy and full of love!

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